When I was working in Nigeria, I found it strange in the beginning when my Nigerian colleagues would ask me how my wife was? Until someone else explained to me that a husband is only happy when the wife is happy (oh, don’t we know that) and the wife is happy when the children is happy.
I’ve also seen how the mood and productivity of my colleagues change at work depending on well their lives are getting on. This is a common human behaviour. This was highlighted last night when my wife and I was watching the documentary on the murder of Lloyd Rayney’s wife and the police officer who delivered the news to Mr. Rayney remarked that Mr. Rayney looked calm and composed and was going through his day as usual before he was told that his wife was missing (Mr. Rayney was supposedly the prime suspect in his wife’s murder.) The judge in reading out his judgement noted that if someone actually hurt their spouse, in this case, allegedly murdered his wife during the wee hours of the morning, Mr. Rayney displayed no emotions prior to being informed by the police. And police officers are trained to take note of human facial changes, even when we’re not aware of it.
The first key to productivity in the office – ensure your kingdom at home is at peace.
If it is not, dont deny that nothing is wrong. Acknowledge that there is a conflict. And communicate with your spouse to resolve it. Being silent or moody isnt going to help anyone. You may resort to being silent, thinking everything will be okay but it may have adverse effects on your spouse.
Communicate civilly. Raising voices or throwing tantrums will not resolve the issue. Put yourself in your spouses shoes, how would you want yourself to act? Is what he/she saying hold water?
Never ever think that the relationship is not worth it. Some people think they can easily walk out of a relationship. Always remember that your spouse and you are having a disagreement on something, not a disagreement on each other. Your relationship is more important than your ego, so being “right” can go out the window.
Force yourself to listen to your partner. Really listen to what he/she is trying to say. Pay attention. Grasp their message.
Sometimes the time isn’t right to come up with a solution. It’s all right to agree to hold the solution until the both of you are in a better frame of mind.
Once a solution has been found, never bring up this problem again to remind your partner about their weakness. Once a problem has been solved and both parties have learnt their lesson, bury the problem and never speak of it again.
A peaceful life at home makes a wonderfully productive person at work or in business.
Everything in life is connected.
Make the best of it.